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Many of us have heard the expression “living in the present moment” or “living in the Now.” Spiritual teachers tell us to treat each moment like it’s our only one in existence. Eckhart Tolle teaches that living in the present moment means having awareness and presence in our current reality. Edgar Cayce discusses how we can implement this concept into our every day lives on a regular basis.

In the “Edgar Cayce Companion” book Edgar talks about how in order not to be swayed by uncertainties that come our way, and as we all know life can be very unpredictable, we need to contain an unshifting ideal. What he is not referring to is a set belief on how things should or shouldn’t be. In the book “Courage, the Joy of Living Dangerously” the author, Osho teaches that when you function out of assumptions the conclusion protects you. There is a big difference between a conclusion and an ideal. When one comes to a set conclusion about his reality it gives him security, safety and establishes a well defined comfort zone. A comfort zone is the egoic mind believing that it is a separate entity. The illusion of believing that we are separate identities causes us to find something to latch onto whether it’s a certain image, status, money…etc.

Edgar Cayce refers to an ideal that will always exist no matter how high the tide. For Osho it was the courage to function without conclusions which instilled in him the power to be alive, open and spontaneous. Edgar doesn’t specify which ideal he’s talking about because he wants you to find it in yourself. He holds very high beliefs on the notion that “Direction must come from Within.” It’s inevitable that the more we are aligned with our higher self-our piece of the Source, the more we will want to merge with the source of which that piece came from. What comes with that is feeling the connection with the rest of the universe as they are all pieces of the same Source. In essence, living in the moment means to attain the awareness of feeling a closer connection with your higher self. This will manifest in increased appreciation for all internal and external circumstances that surround you at that very moment. So why do so many of us find it so difficult to live in the present moment? Edgar Cayce explains it best: “the individuality of a soul must be lost in the personality of God.” The ironic part is that the more we become individuated and trust in our innate natures via our intuition via our piece of the Source the more we practice “dvekut” which is the Kabbalistic word for becoming one with Source.

We live in this world to develop the capabilities of being able to discern between forces and energies that can either shift us towards our Higher Self or away from it. Once we master the power of discernment and choose to follow our intuition then we inevitably merge back with the Source that we came from and that we essentially are. It has been said in every religion that the meaning behind this game we call life is to will our way back to our original Oneness by the powers of choice and discernment. In its totality our souls will only become One again after fully realizing and being conscious of what being One is not. It is through experiencing the reality of opposites that we are here to fully appreciate exactly what it’s contrasting in the vastness of time, space and limited conditions.

Living in the present moment is appreciating and recognizing something for the first time like you’ve never done before. If we think of the word “appreciation” it bestows the message of receiving a new found level of awareness resulting in the feeling of gratitude. If we think about leaving our comfort zone in order to live in the present moment it can feel scary for us because it is a form of forsaking our established identities. But if we realize that living in the moment is actually connecting back to our true core nature, that which we really are, then we can readily shift to this new paradigm of perception.

We are exactly where we are supposed to be right now at this very moment even if we are not living in the present moment. The world gives us several opportunities to rediscover ourselves through the reality of opposites. This is a crucial time to ask ourselves what our intent is behind everything we do. Honesty and the right intentions can help us shift to a state of higher consciousness, or in other words, of living in the present moment.

The problem with presentations that contain data or technical information is that they can be complex, and often need to make multiple points before coming to a final conclusion. This means you may lose your audience half way through hence not get the decision you want at the end. A good way to avoid this is to summarise and pre-sell as you go.

Senior executives get bored very easily. A few years ago I attended a conference where the director of product development from Microsoft was speaking. He said that he’d sat through so many pitches for new products that now when he gets bored, he simply shouts “next slide, next slide.” And If the presenter is really crappy then he shows no mercy and shouts “last slide”; when this happens you can bet that the idea is going in the bin. He says it happens when he loses the thread of the presentation and gets bored.
This is easy to rectify if you simply stop regularly, do a recap of what you have said, and then pre-sell the next few points.

A great everyday example of this is the news. At some point today stop and watch a news programme. But don’t listen to the actual news, listen to how it’s structured. Specifically count the number of times that the newsreader summarises the main points before moving on to tell you more. The producers of the show know that they are competing for your attention so they constantly have to remind you what you’ve just been told, and then sell you on what’s coming next. To stop you from switching channel they constantly grab and re-grab your attention.

It’s no different when you present data, analysis or technical information.
Here’s a short cut structure you can use to make sure that your audience stays mentally tuned into your next presentation.

1.During the planning phase (which I recommend you do on word or paper) insert a summary after every three points.

2.Before moving onto the next set of points make a note of why your audience should listen.

Here’s an example from a client presentation I did recently.

“Before we move onto the next section I’d like to remind you of what we’ve covered so far

a. It typically takes you 212 days to respond to repair for a customer

b. You get around 60 complaints per day in your contact centre as a result

c. In addition your staff are leaving because of all the angry calls from customers

In short your customers are not happy and it’s affecting both client and staff retention. In the next part of the presentation I’m going to show you exactly what you can do to stop both the complaints and the staff turnover.”

There you go a simple summary and pre-sell.

In any type of business one must always be ready to deal with other people. It can be as simple as explaining the situation. For example, someone offered a house for sale at $40,000 and the other party explained:

“I’m sorry, the only houses I buy are purchased at wholesale.”

“Oh,” said the seller almost instantly. “Then you can have it for only $27,900″

That $13,00 off sounds incredible, doesn’t it? Yet it frequently happens just that way; as smooth as silk.

Negotiation is a big part of the business world. Since the negotiation process cannot be avoided, the business professional must equip himself with proper skills and presentation techniques in order to survive in business. Where can you connect with these? Would you believe it? Your library shelves can help. Just stop at the librarians front desk and say, “I want a book on Negotiating the sales process.” You can probably negotiate a quick sale on the spot.

If you can’t afford flowers then say it with a smile, but — When you want to be heard, you have got to speak up. The only way to get a better deal is to ask for it. One gets what one wants based solely on the ability to persuade others, and that takes negotiation, not luck. This is true especially in the worlds of business and finance, which are full of concerns about deals and agreements with prospective customers.

What are some of the sales negotiation pitfalls in selling your own home?

#1, if you are treading these for the first time without a broker beside you, you’d better be careful what you say and how you say it.

Very stringent laws make it imperative that one must be fully aware that all the information involved in the deal must be true, honest and aboveboard. Providing misleading information must be avoided at all costs; otherwise, any of the parties involved might enter the contract with a distorted view of the deal in mind. If such is the case, the best you can expect to happen is that it will certainly lead to confusion and the whole negotiation process could crumble before the deal is done. If that investigator suspects you are playing fast and loose with the facts then you may be negotiating a deal with the State Attorney General real quick.

I had one fast and loose associate move down to Florida where they have ZERO TOLERANCE with either fast or loose. If I hadn’t stepped in to explain matters and substantiate what had really been said my good old buddy would have needed a lawyer.

Then that night he came to me with a fake temporary license plate tag for one of his cars that his neighbor had turned him in on for not having a license plate. “I don’t think that would fool an officer of the law for more than 3 seconds.”

He grinned. ‘It looks pretty good to me, and they can’t possibly know what a tag from my home state looks like.”

Maybe I’d better explain that he had a neighbor that had done got plumb suspicious of every move my acquaintance made. Next, I laid me down to sleep and sometime during the night woke up to experience what felt like the whole police force in the house. The old boy was doing some fast stuttering until a sergeant advised him to shut his mouth before he got into some really serious trouble.

The silence was precious. I glanced around and negotiated my way back to a nice warm bed and left the fool standing there by himself. Bottom line, distorting the truth or making sneaky deals in real estate is unsafe in any state.. In places like Florida it is just plain suicide. If you don’t know what the truth is about some question or point, admit it promptly; if you might have a live sale on your hand, offer to dig up the information and get an answer back to them.

All statements must be fair and free of errors. Misleading information and ambiguous terms must be avoided. Word meanings, phrases, and sentences, even whole paragraphs, should all be clear and understandable.

Mutual understanding can only be attained through effective communication. Lay everything out clearly for the investigating client. Both parties must be able to fully understand what the contract states. You cannot expect any contract to be entered into by a business professional until after they have become convinced that the contract provides a favorable deal for them.

To achieve a successful negotiation, you must possess a positive flair for honesty and fairness. The client believes that all statements coming out of the salesman’s mouth are considered as binding. If it becomes obvious that his words are misleading, the salesman will lose his credibility. When this happens then it would almost certainly result in prospect immediately walking out on the deal. If anger is seething you can expect them to be doing some hyper ventilating somewhere before long. It always amazes me how fast a bad report can circulate through a small community. As Winston Churchill pointed out one time, a lie can be 60 miles down the road before truth gets its boots on. The same can be true of unfortunate misunderstandings.

Probably the first thing you want to negotiate is the sales price, but no, that isn’t always true. Sometimes you, the seller, will want to be reassured you are not wasting your time with some prospect with no credit and no cash. “I read this book about getting real estate like this with nothing down,yo know.. he, he, he. After I get your price down as low as you can go I’m supposed to ask you take back a 2nd mortgage.. he, he, he. Have you ever thought about doing something like that?”

I know its mean, rotten and cruel, but I don’t play games in real estate. SMILINGLY I will say something like, “Do I need to show you the way out?”

Tom Hopkins, world renowned real estate salesman, would move people along with a smile too. “You prefer green? If I offer to paint it green are you ready to buy the house now?”

One pitfall that beginning negotiators step into is reducing the price prematurely.. It works out like this.. the prospect is walking out the door and you blurt out, ‘I’ll knock $12,000 off.”

‘ugggh, no thanks.”

Now, you might innocently presume that nothing important has happened to your position.

Not so, not so at all. If that client sees an agent about some other house within 50 miles of yours and I guarantee that client, that prospect or whatever, will gobble out the news that you have knocked $12,000 off the price. For whatever reason, they cannot keep their mouth shut. The worst of it is that beginners in this field do not have a clue how to raise the price back up again.

And, even if you have a real estate working for you, even though it is against the law and all that — they are going to be tempted to tell that next prospect… “Now I believe this owner might be willing to knock another $12,000 off his asking price.” Hey, I’ve been on the receiving end of far too much largess obligee to believe it doesn’t happen REGULARLY — agents risking their license and in some instances even risking jail time, but they feel this overpowering urge to play “Mr. Nice Guy!”

Well, no more Mr. Nice Guy. The buck stops sliding here and I’m going to put it on an escalator to see just how high I can raise it. “You are working for me, Mr. Agent. Now, I’m raising the price back up $20,000 as of this afternoon. Yes, I did lower the price a short time ago because I was hoping for a quick sale so I could join my wife on a cruise through the Bermuda Triangle. That window of opportunity has disappeared and I will be playing hardball for the rest of this contract.”

There, you see how easy it is? You don’t have to get angry about it; you don’t have to get mean. In fact, one sweet old lady told me NO so nicely that it didn’t even register I was being turned down flat until she said it the third time. I sat there, stunned for about 60 seconds, then I smiled at her and she smiled back and we discussed the weather for a minute. She smiled again and shared a secret with me that revealed how I COULD get the interviews I wanted within her company.

As you begin to negotiate, your first goal will be trying to observe the situation from every perspective. I believe you should always strive to anticipate every possible outcome — whether it is favorable to you or not. This attitude will strengthen your negotiation and help you to come up with an agreement that will satisfy both parties. Second point, slow your words down when you respond to a question or comment. “Hmm, do I understand this question or comment?” That’s when you ask, “Do you mean…?” SMILE. “I thought you meant…”

When you have good news to report, nod your head while maintaining eye contact, SMILE, deliver your good news slowly. SMILE. Step back, at least mentally, and let that prospect experience the pleasure of receiving that good news without any pressure from you.

I was interviewing the top salesman in the state one time and he explained the principles of mirroring a prospect’s eye movement, body shifts, and even back and forth swings and crossing one leg over the other.

As our interview continued I became amused at the situation because I had been mirroring the sales people I interviewed as naturally as breathing while he was a clumsy amateur that had not polished those techniques he thought he had mastered.

Even though I had entered that area as unknown and unwelcome writer I had (with no other skills to my name) obtained interviews with great salesmen in every field in town and top executives in the best companies in the state. When you properly meld your body and eye movements with your prospect or interviewee a bond will develop that is precious and wonderful. It is almost as if you have become a trusted, valuable part of them. Upon breaking off negotiations with some of my hour long interviews the other person will literally sag as we disengage. Some have flung real sweat off their foreheads and stared at me as if asking, “What has happened here?”

Let me add that when I interview, I do not take notes, I do sometimes record the interview, but I never let anything get between me and that person in front of me. One of my daughters monitored and learned what I do during interviews and latched onto a job as a mere telephone operator in a multi-national construction company. In about 4 years she had risen to a prominent post in the company and ended up as the company’s ambassador at gala functions where she has met two Presidents of the United States and many other dignitaries around the world. Many times it would just be her and the pilot inside the company jet that was whisking her off to some function. The most wonderful part of this experience is that she has taught her children the natural mirroring techniques and helped them polish them up at home. She has retired now and spends her waking hours with raising 5 very wonderful and already successful children in their spheres.

Mirroring may not be something you do naturally, and actually, selfishly, I hope it isn’t. I treasure my skills.. but let me offer you some advice that I picked up from a 2 hour interview at the office and a 1 hour interview at her home with the national SMEA winner 19 years in a row. It’s been a while now but it was definitely either 4 or 5 Presidents of the United States that bestowed multiple presentations of those rewards. On top of that this champion sales lady had won so many other awards that all her walls at work were covered with certificates and awards. At home the walls were similarly covered and there were so many more wanting space that we literally had to rake them out of the way to provide me with a place to sit during another our interview in her home.

Here’s the reason I am telling you about all those awards and distinctions, not to mention all the trips around the most gallant and romantic portions of our globe — her one, and only secret was simply that she treated her sales position just like it was a job. She showed up for work ON TIME, and she went right to work on that phone looking for prospects or with them in the office as she performed her consultations. Not once would she break stride or break to do her crying when facing her heart-breaking periods of rejection. I could feel the volume of pain and frustration she went through but none of it ever stopped or deflected her path for the day. I am here at my desk and I am working. “When I put my phone down I am already looking for the next number to dial.” And that’s it; that’s her secret. All you’ve got to do is put it into practice.

Never stop learning. In every negotiation learn to stand your ground better and reveal how confident you are in the outcome you are seeking. While it is okay to have emotions, don’t let them overcome your ability to think clearly. When that happens you will probably end up accepting a less than fair deal to yourself. Learn to listen well because that shows your sincerity. Stay open to every suggestion and recommendation that might lead to your benefit. Being flexible will help you reach a successful agreement.

Don’t be afraid to offer innovative solutions during the negotiation if you believe they will pave the way to a common goal. Innovative solutions (sometimes mistakenly called compromises) can be very significant in closing a deal. Offer them firmly in order to meet the needs and wants of both parties.

Since this is your first deal let me caution you against a common failing among inexperienced negotiators… There is an all too human urge, when the pressure suddenly ends to gush out further, unnecessary alternatives and concessions. Be ready for that urge to strike; bite your tongue, shut your mouth.

Once your goal is achieved, close the negotiation and make the deal final.

That’s all there is to it. YOU can DO it. The life ahead of you is going to be wonderful, fun, and exciting. No wonder your eyes are shining and you are poised, confident, ready — not for a contest of wills — but that first, exciting meeting with a new friend. YOU can DO it. Get ready to soak up the fun of sharing the best opportunity you can give anyone, the opportunity of getting to know you better.